Greatness Courts Failure

Food & Drink

Hooters and the Lowly Wing

Sunday, May 17th, 2009

Consider the chicken wing. I know, they’re freakin’ everywhere now with untold numbers of restaurant chains devoted to flavoring them one-hundred ways to Sunday. I bet they even breed the damn chickens these days purely for their wing size. A whole warehouse full of birds with ginormous wings looking like anemic 12 year-olds with Arnold Schwarzenegger arms. But, before the mid 1980’s, chicken wings were tossed aside or sold for mere pennies a pound, useless as the neck and backbone (unless you made your own chicken stock). However, there was money to made in wings after some fellows in Buffalo hit upon a brilliant idea. One of the first restaurants in the Southeast to take advantage of this overlooked delicacy (I know, it’s a stretch) and homogenize America with yet another franchise was Hooters.

Now, I’ve had better chicken wings than Hooters serves but there’s one thing they offer that none of the other wing restaurants have. It’s the one reason we frequently stop by for a post-round bite and a few beers, or just a few more beers and the PGA on the big screen – it’s their support of the NGA Hooter’s Tour! Wait, you thought maybe it was the friendly, attentive, attractive, and most importantly, barely clothed waitresses (no, they don’t hire waiters)? Heck no! As dedicated golfers and golf fans, we support those who support golf!

And that’s the lie we tell our significant other every month as she (or he – we ain’t sexist or homophobic – a golfer is a golfer and equal and mere mortal in the eyes of the golf gods) tallies up the receipts, frowns at the excessive tips, and pays the credit card bill with nary a word. So what’s another night on the couch? You go to sleep to the warm, enveloping glow of the Golf Channel with a fuzzy feeling in your heart for helping support a great American institution that encourages and provides exposure to struggling young golfers looking for that big break. You’re a freakin’ saint.